Needing to re-think my goals

It's been almost two weeks since I've been here and more and more frequently I'm making excuses or commenting on the amount of time I've taken between posts. Even though I was down with some viral thing for almost a week, I was home from work and felt good enough to watch TV or check my e-mail. I should have been good enough to keep up with my posts. After catching up a bit today on Google Reader, looking at what others are doing, I've begun to re-evaluate my blog. I thought about dropping it entirely, but doing that will really make me feel like crap about myself and I feel bad enough already. I started this with so much steam, exhuberance and committment, and as most things I attempt, it's fizzled out to about nothing. I'm discouraged. In the beginning I thought I would write about writing, but that's not working well. I don't know enough about writing. Duh. Clue--Fledgling Author?? Today I concluded that I have no idea what I should be writing about. While perusing Karen Winters Schwartz "Maraschino Cherries" blog site and some of the blogs she follows, I took a peek at "Jeannie's Ramblings" which, at a glance, appears to be just that-ramblings about anything and everything. She gives book reviews, talks about the weather, and had a post about a mouse in her house. Different, quirky stuff. My stuff is boring. Should I write about an events in my life during my week? I could, but who the hell will care? I was up at four o'clock this morning, listening to some poor little animal struggle and fight for its life for over thirty minutes. It broke my heart and I wanted to run out into the woods to save it. But what is that? An emotional reaction from a tree hugger who has trouble dealing with nature's survival of the fittist. A nut. I don't know that that would hold my interest if I were someone else reading it.
It stinks when you're almost fifty four years old and have no idea where you're going.