Back to Frustration

First, I want to say, "Thanks, Sara, for adding yourself as my FIRST FOLLOWER! ...and thanks, also, for your helpful and encouraging comment."

It's noon on Saturday. I've been sitting here since about 8:15 trying to figure stuff out and I don't feel like I've gotten anywhere. I'm still not sure if I've set everything up correctly and I can't find myself on the web. Sara is right, this is very addicting as well as time consuming. I think I need a break so I'm going to do some cleaning or hit the gym to get my mind off this and relieve a little self imposed stress.

My last few posts have had nothing to do with my initial idea of writing about writing, nor have I read much more of my "hard" book. I'm really beginning to feel like I'm getting off track...I had no idea blogging would leave me feeling so incompetent.

The Babbling Flow of a Fledgling Scribbler: 100 Followers = My 1st Giveaway Contest!

The Babbling Flow of a Fledgling Scribbler: 100 Followers = My 1st Giveaway Contest!

I'm not sure, but I think this will take you to another blog. I'm so new at this, I feel like I'm groping around in the dark. In my search for writing blogs to read and learn, and also to try and find my own blog, I Googled "Fledgling Author blog" and came up with a bunch of stuff, this site being one. But there's so much to read-in ALL of them-I don't know how I'm going to do it. Of the three blogs that I've chosen so far, two bloggers are full time writers. It seems I'd have to drop everything just to stay on top of blog reading. I'm not giving up, though. I'm always slow at something new. If I am right about this taking you elsewhere, and if there's anyone out there reading this who can help me (besides my family), please let me know...

Will wonders never cease?
I just inadvertently learned how to provide a link to another blog! I'm so proud of myself, but it will remain to be seen if I can do it again, and not by accident...
Happy Friday night!

Pressed for time

"Oh, yes," I faithfully promised myself only a few short days ago. "I will write in my blog every day and make sure I have plenty of time to do so." Where the hell was my head? It's currently 8:52 pm and I'm just getting around to getting something down. Stuff kept happening tonight-phones ringing (another promise--"I will NOT answer the phone when I'm supposed to be writing") Ha. Bills to be paid, parakeet house to be clean,(I hate to call it their cage) dishes to do, blah, blah, blah. I am definitely going to have to learn to manage my time better. Or put everything but this blog on the back burner. But at least I'm here now, so I guess that's a good thing.

Revising the revise

After last night's bungle with trying to re-write portions of my story, I hit it again tonight--actually before I came to my blog. I did get some work done on it, but not as good as I thought last night's revision was. I can't remember, though because I DELETED THE ENTIRE THING!!! Still beating myself up--moped about it all day long. Another matter of awareness---learning to let go. I'll end up in the psycho ward if I keep this up. At any rate, if I get the piece to a point that's acceptable, I might paste some of it in here. Nobody's reading this anyway--well almost nobody, but family doesn't count. Sorry, guys.

Lessons for the day

Work on time management... Stop holding onto stuff until it has claw marks...just keep writing....

Wired and tired

Went to my writer's group tonight and brought a piece I'd written about my daughter. I love going to that group-it's small and I get great feedback, especially from this one woman, Erin. She has a great command of English, and I love to listen to her speak. She, and everyone else, gave me some good ideas for revision, and I drove home with my brain buzzing. I couldn't wait to sit down at the computer to get it started, as I was alone in the house and had some time for myself. Unloaded a few groceries, got my gym stuff ready for tomorrow, showered and got to work editing. Made some notes, but didn't do anything polished. Then, I hit save, and because I had two of the same document open, the computer asked me something that I apparently misunderstood, because I told it yes and it deleted all my work. I was so pissed off. Could not find a way to get it back. So I tried to re-do it as best I could, but I had had a couple of really nice descriptive words and for the life of me, they wouldn't come back. Some writer. Sometimes I'm surprised I can remember my own name. I'm done for tonight.

Lots of questions, lots of confusion

Wow, I never expected that a blog would occupy so much of my mental energy. My blog address/email thing has been consuming me, but I think today I figured out that it's my service carrier, not the blogspot address as I originally thought. The more I work I this, the less I'm discovering that I know about internet publishing. I know nothing. I've found that I'm spending more time trying to figure things out than I am actually writing. So if anyone ever does come across this blog some day, I offer my advance apologies for my naivete. Hopefully, I'll learn something over this next year, but trying to do it by myself is frustrating and I wish I knew a whiz who could help.

My critic awakes and questions abound.

Four days ago, I began this undertaking with the idea that it would help me to write, and read, on a daily basis, and that the primary topic would involve my writing progression. But today, my (non)supportive mental critic got a hold of me, strongly suggesting that no one will be interested in what I have to say. And I agreed. I asked myself why I'm doing this, and who would really give a damn. I don't even know if I can use damn. What about crap? Or shit? If I swear here-what will people think? Then I tell myself if I don't worry what others think about my graphic vocalizations, why do I care about what's written? "Because", I think "if anyone comes across this, and they don't know me--they might be turned off. Then nobody will read it."

...This is nuts-I'm sitting at the computer having an argument with myself about something that most likely won't even happen...I really need help. I'll just do it.

Africa Adventure

I'm also preoccupied tonight because I got the final (I think) itinerary for our trip to South Africa in October and I've just decided to write about that, as well. Maybe it will make for more interesting reading than if I only write about writing. Oh, God.

My husband and I will be taking a three week safari to see a "bit of everything" in South Africa, Botswana and Zimbabwe. It started as a sort-of whim last May when we attended a fund raising auction/dinner for a friend. One of the features of the live auction was this trip and we decided to bid on it. However, when the bidding began, it was at our cap price, and our momentary safari dream evaporated like warm breath on an icy day. The auctioneer tried to get the bidding going at that price, but had no takers. So she dropped the price. Still nobody. Dropped it again. Nope. Once more, and suddenly we were in the game. Long story, we were high bidders for a week safari trip, and decided that since this would be a once in a lifetime opportunity, and the flight over was 24 hours, we needed to extend it. And extend we did. Twenty one days...I've never been out of the country, have seen very little of it,actually, so this will be some experience.
Writing? Reading?
I did actually get some reading done last night from "In Your Own Voice." Funny, he spoke of writing fear and the critic. And mine shows up today. I need to take the advice and write through the fear. Looking back on this entry, I guess I did.

Midnight revelation a dud

After spending hours yesterday on this stupid computer, trying to figure out how I can get my blog address to others through email, I finally gave up and finished most of the Christmas household cleanup. We were stuck inside all day due to the snowy, blustery, freezing weather. As I was drifting off to sleep at around midnight, it suddenly came to me that rather than email my blog address, I could let everyone know the title and they could Google it. How simple, I thought, and went to sleep happy. This morning, however, when I tried my great idea, it didn't work so apparently my blog is floating around in cyberspace, basically unread. I'll figure it out eventually. Today the sun is shining brightly, I have one more day off from work, and I'm going to make the best of it.

I did get some things accomplished last night. I organized a hard reading/writing plan for the upcoming week as suggested by Bill Roorbach. It wasn't as difficult as I thought it might be, now I just have to make sure I stick to the schedule. I also began my first book of non-pleasure reading, and I actually enjoyed it. In the back of his book, Bill has offered pages of suggested readings in Creative Nonfiction that include Memoirs, Personal Essays, Journals, Nature, Travel and New/Literary Journalism. I initially thought I'd choose something from his list, since it numbers in the hundreds, but then I remembered a book I'd taken from the library weeks ago and hadn't read because it was difficult for me to get into. So I chose that for my first hard reading. Not only am I enjoying it, I think it will help me with my own personal writing. Entitled "In Your Own Voice", it's written by Bernard Selling with Jim Strohecker and is a sort-of teaching directive for life story writing. While geared toward creative writing teachers, and a little technical is spots, his premise is for one to go back, remembering childhood, and "write from within". I really think it's going to be helpful for me to "find my voice" and hone my writing style. I've found that I'm not very creative when it comes to inventing charcters, places and plots, but have little difficulty writing about my own personal stuff. Maybe I have an inventive block from my younger days when my mother used to tell me I had no imagination. That, though, is for another day, another blog....

Frustrated

It's day three and I'm already frustrated. I've spent all morning trying to figure out why I can't email my blog address to friends. I get an undeliverable disclaimer with both of my service providers.
I've not opened one book today or done any writing and am really started to get po'd.
I'll try taking a break with a cup of tea.