Spinning

Two weeks from tonight we'll pack the last of what we're bringing with us to the other side of this planet. Is it the other side? I don't know-I was never good in geography. Today, I doubt I could even point to Colorado on a blank map. I'm lucky I know where my own little state of Connecticut is. But no matter, I don't need to get us there, only to get through the fifteen hour flight and seven hour time difference. It's surreal, thinking that we're actually taking this trip. I've been buzzing day and night-physically and mentally-I can't relax. Last night I barely got four and a half hours of sleep. I'm hoping once everything is done--or at least once we get there and I adjust as much as will be possible in a new, strange, foreign country, that I will finally be able to get a decent night's sleep. We'll see.
My elephants. That's what I'm most looking forward to seeing. I call them mine-I don't know why. I have a special affinity for those beautiful, peaceful pachyderms. I don't know when it was or why that I developed the fascination, compassion and yes, love, that I feel for them. I can't explain it. But when the opportunity presented itself for us to see them up close and personal, in their natural habitat, we couldn't pass it up. It's something I never thought I'd be doing and it's so far out of the realm of our norm that I wonder if it's something I'll ever want to do again, once we're back on US soil. I hope so.

I'm Back

September 16, 2010
After months of frustration with Dell and ultimately contacting a big cheese at the headquarters in Texas, I have my third and hopefully, last laptop. At almost a month, this one seems to be working well and so far I haven't had any issues. I can't believe that my last post was in April... my favorite season, summer, is fading fast, and my countdown to days to South Africa has dwindled to a mere 15. It's been so long since I've been here that my elephant photo has disappeared off this page. That alone will take me another week to figure out how to fix, but in addition, Twitter stuff keeps popping up and I don't remember my password or how to stop the pop. One who knows might ask why it was that I didn't use my old desktop computer to fill in here while Dell From Hell was doing their best to rip me off. The answer is I don't know. The usual. Lazy. Fear. Lack of confidence. But I am going to South Africa in two weeks. From the start, it was my plan to use this--or another- blog to keep track of our adventure, post pictures, and make memories for myself and Dennis. If someone happens to stumble across it in the meantime and wants to follow along-that'd be great too. Don't know if any followers are still around--all FOUR of them, but who can follow when there's nothing to read. So as of tonight, I am making a promise to myself to keep track of the last days of the countdown, and the adventure thereafter. I'll need this time to practice and brush up on how this thing works.
Feels good to be here.

Needing to re-think my goals

It's been almost two weeks since I've been here and more and more frequently I'm making excuses or commenting on the amount of time I've taken between posts. Even though I was down with some viral thing for almost a week, I was home from work and felt good enough to watch TV or check my e-mail. I should have been good enough to keep up with my posts. After catching up a bit today on Google Reader, looking at what others are doing, I've begun to re-evaluate my blog. I thought about dropping it entirely, but doing that will really make me feel like crap about myself and I feel bad enough already. I started this with so much steam, exhuberance and committment, and as most things I attempt, it's fizzled out to about nothing. I'm discouraged. In the beginning I thought I would write about writing, but that's not working well. I don't know enough about writing. Duh. Clue--Fledgling Author?? Today I concluded that I have no idea what I should be writing about. While perusing Karen Winters Schwartz "Maraschino Cherries" blog site and some of the blogs she follows, I took a peek at "Jeannie's Ramblings" which, at a glance, appears to be just that-ramblings about anything and everything. She gives book reviews, talks about the weather, and had a post about a mouse in her house. Different, quirky stuff. My stuff is boring. Should I write about an events in my life during my week? I could, but who the hell will care? I was up at four o'clock this morning, listening to some poor little animal struggle and fight for its life for over thirty minutes. It broke my heart and I wanted to run out into the woods to save it. But what is that? An emotional reaction from a tree hugger who has trouble dealing with nature's survival of the fittist. A nut. I don't know that that would hold my interest if I were someone else reading it.
It stinks when you're almost fifty four years old and have no idea where you're going.

Finally! All the bugs are worked out....(I hope)

One month and a day since I ordered my new laptop and today, finally, I think I have the worst of the issues resolved. I really like Dell and have had good luck with all the models we've owned over the years and which is why I chose an XPS over an Apple, but I've spent more time on the phone with them this last month than in the last ten years combined. I think part of the problems were self inflicted-they told me today I had a virus, but I think it really might have had something to do with Firefox and transfering files over from my desktop. It took them two hours today to diagnose and fix the problem by remote from India or where ever...but they were good-they did it.And now I can access my blog, it shows up so I can see it, I have Internet Explorer AND Firefox and I am a happy camper. Onward and upward! (corn-nee!)

More writing contests coming up. A real biggie with Writer's Digest-due in late April or early May, I think. Also a small just for fun- again with WD due April 10, and the Writer's Weekly 24 hour contest on April 24. Now that my machine is fixed, I have no more excuses, and have got to get back on the horse.

Which is where I'm-a headin' right now....Yee-ha!!(OMG I think I've been taking too much cough syrup these last few days--I'm way loopier than usual.)

Query letters

I had a conversation with someone today who, like so many, is out of work and looking for a job. He told me that he thought his resume was really good and that he had a lot to offer to potential employers, yet couldn't understand why he wasn't getting any interviews, or even responses like "Thanks, but you can take a hike". He had been receiving unemployment compensation and apparently the state thought he needed a kick in the butt, so they offered him the option to polish up his resume by taking some classes or stop receiving his checks. Nice choice, but I guess they need to do something to try and weed out the freeloaders. Anyway, the resume he thought was so wonderful, really wasn't, and the classes and his mentor helped him to clean it up to make him more saleable. But what he said has really done the trick is that he now includes a cover letter tailored to each job. It's made all the difference in the world, and he's now getting phone calls with a few "Thanks,but...." as well as some interviews. The conversation reminded me of the importance of a good query letter and how it needs to be informative, yet concise. When I worked in the advertising department of a newspaper, we were told that a reader generally scans ads on a page for a brief five seconds, so the ad better offer something to grab attention before the page is turned. In my humble opinion, the query letter is very much the same. It has to have that LOOK AT ME!!!!! quality in order to capture enough attention to invite further reading. Not an easy task but definitely worth the effort.

Before I lose more time...

I wanted to post a quick entry. I didn't get here last night because I went to my writer's group but I'm beginning to question if I should continue attending. The last three meetings have consisted of three of us, which doesn't allow for much feedback. The coordinator also has copies of articles that she passes around and we all take turns reading paragraphs. I can read on my own. I'm looking for help writing. I'll give it another couple of weeks and see if more people join or come back, and if not, I might look elsewhere...

Meetup.com is a website I checked out in search of other area writing groups. It offers a huge array of interests for those looking in their community and surrounding areas. I found a couple of other writing groups in nearby towns and if things don't improve, I may check them out.

I'm having a tough time tonight. I'm writing this on the laptop, so I'm on Firefox and this is so small, I can hardly see it. Plus, my modem and router are f-ed up and I keep losing my internet connection. I think I'm going to call it a night.

I'm back

***Note*** I created the following post last night (3/16)...wrote, reviewed, edited...etc., etc. until I was satisfied enough to punch the "publish" button. When I did-nothing happened...The little circle timer thingie on my computer was going round and round until finally, an ERROR message showed up. I couldn't post the damn thing. My unedited post came back. I have no idea where everything else went. It was even stranger when I found the edited version on Google Reader, exactly as I wanted it to be. Went back to my blog. Nothing. And this morning, it's disappeared from Google reader as well. So following is the mostly unedited version of my work from last night....is someone trying to tell me something????


This is bad. I haven't been here since March 1 and today's the 16th. The frustration with my laptop was subsiding until just now, when --oh, never mind. I'll get it. I did figure out that the reason I can't get my page to look the way I want on the screen is due to Firefox. It won't give me full screen viewing which kind of screws me because I transferred all of the stuff I wanted from the desk to my laptop, and almost all of it was done on Firefox. When I finally concluded the program might be the problem, I removed it from the computer, but then none of my stuff would open. Now I need to figure out a way to get everything from Internet Explorer so I can see the full view. It's so time consuming...

My poor blog...the longer I stayed away, the harder it was to come back. (Hmmm-sounds like what I hear in the rooms of AA after someone "goes out." I'm sure a shrink would tell me there's a connection there someplace.) It was like I was afraid. One night I was rearranging and trying to organize files on the laptop desktop (??!!) and there was my Fledgling Author icon staring me in the face, but I tried not to look at it. I could almost hear it calling me..."Come baaaaaack, come baaaaack...." Well. I'm here. It took me a few weeks but I'm ready to get going again.

I need to get going again because while I was away, something REALLY GOOD HAPPENED. And it won't happen again if I don't keep practicing. Let me explain. In January, I entered a writing contest through Writer's Weekly. They give you 24 hours to come up with a story after they send out a mass prompt. Then you wait six weeks for them to get back to you. Not you, personally, but to receive the mass email naming winners. And...of all the contestants, I received an honorable mention!! I was PSYCHED!!!! It felt so good to see my name on that list. So what if I didn't get first, second or third prize? MY NAME WAS ON THE HONORABLE MENTION LIST!! WHAHOO! Could it have had something to do with writing on a regular basis? Maybe, and now I have the first thing I can put on my resume....

So. That's the reason I needed and WANTED to get my butt back in this seat. Feels good. I missed being here...