TUESDAY ALREADY!!!!

I have been soooo busy, I can't believe the last time I did anything with my poor little blog was last Thursday.

I was really excited to find three new comments tonight-those really help to perk me up and keep me going especially since I had a short "what the hell am I doing" moment last night. Wondering about spending all this time on the computer, sending stuff out into cyberspace, or the blogosphere, or whatever, with seemingly few who know I'm alive. Who's interested in my stuff anyway??? Boo hoo. Then I found the comments. Thanks Sarah for the tip and Allena if you're here again, thank you, too.

I'm honored that Allena commented. It's like she's like famous to me. Tons of info, thousands of topics, a veritable Fountain of Freelance... Maybe someday I'll be writing on a big site like she does.

I did spend quite a bit of time the last few days on Associated Content, and I'll go back and re-read Allena's suggestions as to why that might not be such a great idea. I was thinking it would be a way to get started making a little money, and at least having some work to show potential clients.

Another someday for me might be a book, but it'd have to be a creative non-fiction/memoir type thing. I'm not good at making things up. My husband wants me to write a kid's story about one of our parakeets, and I've been tossing it around in my head, but can't seem to come up with anything really creative and catchy. I think people assume writing for kids is easy, but I'm not sure that's the case.

I was also thinking the last few days about how my original intent for here was to write about writing, but I'm beginning to second think that, also. I wanted to do something on AC about planning for our upcoming trip to South Africa in October-sort of a step by step for first timers like us. I'm saving my money to buy a laptop to bring with me, thinking I could submit to AC while we were there and also try to keep up with my blog.

I think I just have too much flying around in my head and sometimes it overwhelms me. I had a sad thought the other day that, at fifty three years old, I have have wasted so much time. The best I have to show for those years are my two kids. But what will be my legacy? I know for damn sure there aren't fifty three more years for me and I feel a sense of urgency to get moving and make the best of what remains. In her book, "Broken Open", Elizabeth Lesser speaks of the most beautiful, wrenching quote I'd ever read. Written by Anais Nin, it fully articulates where I am now, and where I want to go.

"And the time came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."