Horray! It's Friday! (even tho' I only worked 3 days...)

I love Fridays. They're my favorite day of the week. Friday mornings I look forward to Friday nights, coming home after work, sitting down with a giant glass filled with lots of ice and white or red cranberry juice. Bet you thought I was gonna say wine...well...I had those days-lots of them, actually. Way too many and eventually lost control. The stuff kicked my butt, but I'm happy to say that twelve years ago I summoned all the strength and courage I had to kick it back and have been on the recovery road ever since. And it's been one helluva ride, let me tell ya. Wouldn't change it for anything.

Anyway, Fridays are the best. Two entire days ahead to maybe sleep in a little and then do whatever floats my boat. Tomorrow morning I might float my boat over to hunt around at an estate sale even though there's not one more thing I need to put in this house.

Tonight I'm going to do a little reading up on personal essay writing. The little bit I've looked at so far only entails writing for college entrance applications. Writer's Digest has a contest coming up (deadline May 14 if anybody's interested--info on their site) and memoir or personal essay is one of the categories open to the competition. I don't do well at making stuff up, and write best about my own experiences or opinions, so that'll be the route I'll take to enter. This will light a fire under my butt to get moving.

One more quick thing. As soon as I finished my post last night, my phone rang and it was Meredith, my daughter. I guess the alien thing made her feel she's not as nuts as she thinks she is. Apparently, after she reads my stuff she feels I surpass her in the insanity department and that little bit of knowledge somehow gives her comfort. Whatever works. It's not as easy to comfort a 24 year old child as it was when she was only 4. But the point I was trying to get to is that she recieves my posts in an email and I don't know what I did to make that happen. I'll have to go in and try to figure it out, but I wanted to apologize to anyone who receives emails if you didn't want them. Just block me. Of course, I have so many fans and followers, I'm sure I'm driving them all crazy as their in boxes fill up with my stuff. I wish.

So, off to do some research...and tomorrow when I have a little more time, I plan to check out those hilarious videos posted on Sara's site. I'm a little afraid, because it looks like the music is from my time and I'll probably think they're cool and not get why everyone thinks they're so funny. Don't look now, but my age is showing.....

Slack, Slacker, Slacking

...is all I can say about my absence of the last week. I don't know where the time went and can't remember much about those last seven or eight days, which wouldn't be such a bad thing if I drank, but I gave that up a dozen years ago. I did spend an overnight with my daughter Friday, and came back Saturday eve, but other than that, everything else has blended into one big blobby blur. Maybe I was abducted by aliens and don't remember. I've heard that they will do that so the abductee doesn't freak or give away any alien secrets. Abductee... Is that even a word?

Anyway....I obviously haven't done ANY writing. Not here. Not anywhere. And I can feel it. It's like when I don't go to the gym for a week--or more--getting back into it is a drudge. I have to drag myself. I feel like I'm dragging myself across the keyboard now. With Volga Boatmen playing in the background..."Type those words, Den...Ohho, type those words, Den. Keep your miiinnnd on the taasskkk....da da da daaaaaa" Yep. I've lost it.

Alrightee then. I think this is enough of an easement back into my blog for one night. Now that I'm back, I'll try to stay....

Snow Day!!!!

Winter life here in Connecticut can be a little unpredictable especially for the weathermen. While Virginia, Maryland and Baltimore are getting pounded by snow, the likes of which they have not seen in some time, if ever, we are waiting. And waiting. And waiting. School was canceled last night,
the administrative staff was called at ten pm and told to stay home (that's me! Yea!), and we were expected to get up to a foot of snow, beginning after midnight. It's currently 3:30 pm and we've had a dusting. My hope is that it starts tonight after midnight and I get to stay home again tomorrow.

I'd planned to do lots of writing today with my free time, but just started now. I did do something productive, though. When I'm on a computer away from home, I'll sometimes find an interesting or helpful writing site, and I'll email the link to myself. My mailboxes were full of sites and info that I never got around to organizing, so I made files for freelance info, contests, finished and unfinished writing pieces of mine and blog and agent info. Now I need to stay on top of it and keep it organized.

Making the contest file reminded me that contests provide the push I need to get motivated and I need to do more of them. They require me to stick to a deadline so I don't continuously put off doing the work. My blog has, as I told myself it wouldn't, taken a back seat on some days to cleaning toilets, writing bills or doing laundry. Or all three. It's especially hard for me to keep motivated when I start to question myself as to why I'm even doing this. I begin to feel inadequate and uncreative, then my inspiration and drive go right out the window. I've always been one to want everything now-instant gratification-and I try to remember to remind myself that this is an ongoing process and will most likely take a long time to see any results. I just have to continue to do it for myself. I think I might be the only one who gets anything out of it.

A little stressed

I'm feeling totally inadequate. I've not been here since Thursday. I have a ton of reading-books and blogs, and I can't keep up. I signed up for the Virtual Zen Retreat with Mary Jaksch on her "Write To Done (I can't even copy her address correctly) blog and I'm having trouble getting quiet and doing the readings.

Sara is going balls to the wall to work on "Priority" stuff, and she's got other bloggers and her fans all doing the same.

I am, as the saying goes, comparing my insides to the outsides of everyone else. Trying to keep up.

I'm going to regroup. I'll be back tomorrow with a better attitude.

Sigh.

Google docs

On the first and third Wednesdays of each month, I attend a "Writer's Support Group". I've been going for a couple of months and I really enjoy it. The group is small enough that anyone who attends and wants to read their stuff can do so, then we all critique it--nicely. The variety of writing styles amazes me. One woman who attends, Erin, is phenomenal--the stuff she can make up blows me away. Anyway-I think the woman is brilliant. I love to hear her speak-she has an awesome command of our language, but articulates herself so that I can understand what she's talking about and I don't feel like an idiot. She gives great feedback-both constructive and supportive, and I get the most from listening to her. She also seems well versed in IT (Internet technology-?? I think that's right) and has helpful suggestions about files, formatting, etc.

Last night she gave us a great tip about Google. I should have known this, but I didn't, and it's going to help me tremendously.

Google docs. I spent only a bit of time playing around with it tonight, but I can take everything I have stored on my computer and move it to Google docs. where they stay in my own little Google account, out in space somewhere, and I can call them up anytime, from anywhere and work on them. I think it's going to be a much better way to store my stuff, so now I need to transfer all my important work over there. More for me to learn. As soon as I figure it out, I'll give details. It doesn't seem very complicated.

This is never ending, and sometimes it drives me crazy, but I'm still loving it...

TUESDAY ALREADY!!!!

I have been soooo busy, I can't believe the last time I did anything with my poor little blog was last Thursday.

I was really excited to find three new comments tonight-those really help to perk me up and keep me going especially since I had a short "what the hell am I doing" moment last night. Wondering about spending all this time on the computer, sending stuff out into cyberspace, or the blogosphere, or whatever, with seemingly few who know I'm alive. Who's interested in my stuff anyway??? Boo hoo. Then I found the comments. Thanks Sarah for the tip and Allena if you're here again, thank you, too.

I'm honored that Allena commented. It's like she's like famous to me. Tons of info, thousands of topics, a veritable Fountain of Freelance... Maybe someday I'll be writing on a big site like she does.

I did spend quite a bit of time the last few days on Associated Content, and I'll go back and re-read Allena's suggestions as to why that might not be such a great idea. I was thinking it would be a way to get started making a little money, and at least having some work to show potential clients.

Another someday for me might be a book, but it'd have to be a creative non-fiction/memoir type thing. I'm not good at making things up. My husband wants me to write a kid's story about one of our parakeets, and I've been tossing it around in my head, but can't seem to come up with anything really creative and catchy. I think people assume writing for kids is easy, but I'm not sure that's the case.

I was also thinking the last few days about how my original intent for here was to write about writing, but I'm beginning to second think that, also. I wanted to do something on AC about planning for our upcoming trip to South Africa in October-sort of a step by step for first timers like us. I'm saving my money to buy a laptop to bring with me, thinking I could submit to AC while we were there and also try to keep up with my blog.

I think I just have too much flying around in my head and sometimes it overwhelms me. I had a sad thought the other day that, at fifty three years old, I have have wasted so much time. The best I have to show for those years are my two kids. But what will be my legacy? I know for damn sure there aren't fifty three more years for me and I feel a sense of urgency to get moving and make the best of what remains. In her book, "Broken Open", Elizabeth Lesser speaks of the most beautiful, wrenching quote I'd ever read. Written by Anais Nin, it fully articulates where I am now, and where I want to go.

"And the time came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."

Thursday already

These weeks are flying. Tonight is a short post because I'm going to "Associated Content" to create an account for myself and see if I can get some stuff published online. I found out about the site through Allena Tapia at About.com. I receive emails from her Freelance Writing guide, and she's been a great help as I try to learn about that aspect of writing. I came across the AC site the other day after perusing some of her mail that I hadn't had time to look at and it seems like it might be a good place to get my feet wet. It's easy to understand, which is always helpful for me.
Still haven't learned the link thing yet so here's the address.... http://www.associatedcontent.com/
My husband and I are going to South Africa next October and I'm going to see if they'll accept some submissions about the trip. (In case anyone might be wondering-the elephant on my page is a countdown to the days remaining)
My daughter, Meredith, made an allusion today that I'm becoming obsessed with my blog. She ain't seen nothin' yet! (Love ya, honey!)